The Colonel

“	This is my bird now...	”
–The Colonel after knifing The Medic, The Sniper, and The Engineer and taking control of their helicopter in 'Transport Chopper'.

The Colonel
"Ammo is for nancies"
Vital statistics
Class	Support
Gender	Male
Team	US/RU
Status	Alive
Friends	The Medic, The Sniper
Enemies	The Engineer, General Tso, The Noob
Weapon of choice	Knife with bipod on a bipod, AMR-2
Voice Actor	Bryan Mahoney

The Colonel is a veteran support player who plays a bit too seriously. He is first introduced in the season finale of season 1. In the episode, the team starts out and colonel had already killed 50 enemies. The Sniper and The Medic both ask how he is so successful. The Colonel then asks a series of questions about the two in which both the Sniper and Medic answer "wrong."

In another episode in season 2, it is revealed that the colonel surprisingly has a code of honor: that there is no honor in killing a man with a glitched gun. He also explains one time how he destroyed an attack helicopter with his knife, one of the only weapons he is ever seen using (the others being C4, the AMR-2, the Breaching Hammer, and the M9 pistol).

He has been recently seen in Season 2 episodes: "They Ruined Battlefield", "Stingers" and "Transport Chopper". In "They Ruined Battlefield", he is seen taking down a jet with a knife. In "Stingers", he takes down a helicopter with a knife and gives The Engineer some ammo. In Transport Chopper, he gets into the helicopter and knifes everyone before taking control of the helicopter but he gets killed by C4 planted by The Noob, being first, and by far, his only death in the series.

The Colonel is such a powerful player that he is capable of feats which would only make sense if he had hacked the game.

In the episode Little Bird Battle, he destroys an attack helicopter with C4. After the Bird goes down, he along with The Engineer and The Sniper "die" after the out of bounds timer expires, but he ends up saving them both after shouting "I Am The Battlefield!", picking them up, and sprinting to safety. After saving them, he prepares to destroy a scout helicopter with his knife, but a bike driven by Simon beats him to it.

In TUGS Life, he is shown on radar killing a mythical creature and destroying a tank with his knife, which results in him unlocking a bipod for it. 

In Spawn Killing, he is seen successfully capturing the RU Base.

In 'Kill Cam' it is revealed that he has only ever been killed once, during the season 2 finale when The Noob blew up the chopper he stole from the Medic, Engineer, and Recon. He remained unaware until informed about the kill cam as he had never seen it before and didn't know what it was when he first saw it. The only thing he deeply remembered about that experience was when The Noob yelled "PROMOTED!!"

In "Megalodon" the Colonel is seen at the end standing beside the dead Megalodon that was hung and killed by him. He yelled to the people in the water, "HEY! PTFO GUYS STOP DICKING AROUND!!!!"

In "Base Commander" he manages to kill the enemy commander in his own base, and implies that they have fought before.

In "Hardcore" he unlocks the bipod for his bipod, which is seen when he teamkills The Noob after he realises that it was him that killed him in season 2. He is also seen using the AMR-2 sniper rifle to fire from the current map (Hainan Resort) into Zavod 311 and Dawnbreaker, killing 1 soldier from each map.

In "Grenades", he appears with the Battlefield Friends with the M9 and shows his disappointment in the Ammo Guy trying to find a grenade in an ammo box. He objected the argument saying, "Sometimes you just got to play by the rules of the game." The Colonel digs into the ammo box and grabs a motorbike and rides off, leaving the team shocked.

In "BF4 or Hardline", the Colonel spots the Medic as they are both playing Battlefield 4 and yells at him for being on the phone with Recon, who wants the Medic, Old Man, and Choppi Guy to play Battlefield Hardline. Recon recognizes the Colonel's voice and wants the Colonel to play Hardline with him. The Colonel responds saying he is already playing Hardline and is Recon's squad while playing BF4 at once, leading Recon to be confused and ask how does that even work. The Colonel replies saying how do magnets work and that they just do. He then pulls out his breaching hammer with an ACOG and red laser sight and goes on a rampage against the enemy. Recon thinks to himself, "How do magnets work?"

In Season 6, Episode 3, "Rainbow Sixer", Recon, Engineer, and PC Elitist are arguing about a new game called "Rainbow Six Seige" and PC Elitist suggests it to Engineer, who doesn't care about the game. Later, the Colonel comes and asks why hasn't Charlie been taken yet? When Recon tells him that it's locked down, he just says, "Alright, you girls keep on bickering. I'll take care of it." as he pulls out a invincibility star from the famous Mario games. The Engineer had said that you can only get those from the game it comes from, and yet the Colonel pulled it off and got it in the game.

In Season 6, Episode 4, he comes in while Recon and Engineer are arguing with Ammo Guy on the Phantom Bow, who believes that Recon and Engineer don't deserve them because they just got it out of a box rather than earning it the hard way. He agrees with Ammo Guy, recalling that the C100 (known as the Bipod Knife) was given to "Anyone with a fricken uniform-" and believes that they didn't earn them but doesn't care as much as Ammo Guy because he only cared that he had earned his stuff. He then tells them to "enjoy those weapons" that they didn't earn, hoping that the BowPod isn't given away next.

Trivia

• The character of the Colonel is a take on the stereotypical Level 100 Colonel player in Battlefield 3. They are often seen as tryhards and being capable of highly skillful feats when playing. The Colonel's power is comically exaggerated however by the use of a knife with a bipod attachment, a bipod attachment for that bipod attachment, stabbing a tank to death, capturing the RU Base, and so forth.
• The Colonel is possibly portrayed as the Chuck Norris of Battlefield often accomplishing impossible feats(listed above) compared to normal players.
• He's always seen as "support", ironically he doesn't use guns nor does he like giving ammo. Although he has used C4 once. He used the AMR-2 in Hardcore, getting a pair of sniper kills at an impossible range, as seen on the Range Finder. He actually killed one enemy each on Zavod 311 and Dawnbreaker from Hainan Resort, judging from the background of the kills.
• He appears to dislike guns that appear to be overpowered, such as the M26 Dart or the FIM-92 Stinger, and likely the USAS-12.
• He obviously dislikes the Engineer, most likely because he likes guns such as the M26 Dart and the FIM-92 Stinger.
• The Medic and Sniper respect him and act like actual soldiers around him, The Engineer doesn't care about his status, The Noob has had two encounters with him when he killed him once and then teamed up with him to find the "red camo" player who killed him, which ironically was the Noob.
• The Colonel 100 wields no type of gun whatsoever, as he prefers using his knife rather than a gun.
• His tips for becoming a colonel is to:
  1. Lose any job the player has.
  2. No sexual interactions with anyone as that equals a negative K/D ratio.
  3. Get a "shit bucket" as the player doesn't have time to waste to go to the bathroom.
• In the season 2 finale, Transport Chopper, The Colonel is seen as a Russian for the first time.
• Ironically, the only one to have killed him is The Noob.
• He had revenge on The Noob (teamkilling him) in Hardcore, when he recognized The Noob screaming "Promoted!!"
• In the episode, TUGS Life, he just unlocked a bipod for his knife.
• The Battlefield Friends Squad appear terrified of him (excluding The Noob), as instead of fighting him in 'Transport Chopper,' they just screamed in terror as he landed on the windshield. They all refer to him as 'sir'.
• He is finally seen using a gun in Hardcore, when he uses a sniper rifle to kill two enemy players. This being the colonel, both of them are on completely different maps.
• In "Grenades", he can pull a motorbike off of an ammo box.
• In "BF4 or Hardline", he can multitask by playing both of the title games.
• His iconic bipod knife became an actual weapon in BF4 once players reach the appropriate rank.
• In Phantom Bow, he is seen with a bipod on his bow, meaning that he's spent some time using the bow, probably pulling off outrageous kills with it.
• He may not a BF3 Premium player, since he is never seen with the ACB 90.
• He doesn't care about Easter eggs, as seen in Megalodon.
• He doesn't know how magnets work, as he says they just do.